The last Parachute

A pilot and his four passengers were on an airplane that was about to crash. The four passengers were Michael Jordan, Bill Clinton, a hippie, and old man. Unfortunately, there were only four parachutes on the plane. The pilot yelled, "I'm the pilot!" and jumped off with one of the parachutes. Michael Jordan said, "I'm the world's greatest athlete!" and jumped off with another parachute. Bill Clinton said, "I am the world's smartest man!" and jumped out of the plane. This left the hippie and the old man alone in the rapidly-descending airplane. "I'm old," said the old man, "so you can have the last parachute." "Nah, that's okay, man," the hippie said. "The world's smartest man just jumped out with my bag."
The Greedy Lion

Once a lion felt hungry. He came out of his den to look for some animal for his food. He saw a hare.It was playing happily under a tree. The lion walked towards the hare. The hare saw the lion and began to run in fear. So the lion also began to run after it. Soon the lion caught the hare.
Just as the lion raised his fore -foot to kill the hare, he sighted a deer. He thought that the small hare would not fill his belly. So he let the hare go off with long steps. The lion could not catchup with the deer. After a long chase, the lion was tired. He gave up the chase. He felt sorry for letting the hare off
Moral: A bird in hand is worth than two in the bush.
The Old Couple’s Mistake

Once there lived an old couple along with their daughter-in-law and their 5 year old grandson. Since the daughter-in-law was employed only the old couples were taking care of their grandson. One day there was a misunderstanding between the old couples and they started to quarrel in front of the grandson itself. The 5 year old boy was keenly observing all these things. Suddenly his grandmother took her suitcase and went to her sister’s home which was also nearby. Her mother-in-law’s sister’s residence is located near a police station.
That evening when their daughter-in-law came home and found that her mother-in-law was not there she took her 5 year old son and went to the bus stop and took a bus. While the conductor came she asked a ticket for police station. Suddenly the boy started crying. When his mom asked for the reason he said “You are going to lauch a complaint against my grand pa. only because of that you are going to the police station”. His mom really felt very ashamed because she mentioned “Police Station” only as a bus stop but the child has taken it in a wrong way.
So the elders must avoid quarreling in front of the kids as they will observe each and everything keenly.
Brilliant Strange Man

This is a real incident that happened few months ago to a known person of mine. My friend Ram and his brother Sankar went to a restaurant in a town. They chose a table of 4 which was empty. Thinking that no one should disturb them they sat in that table and started ordering the items. When they were in the second round of selection of items a third person neatly dressed came and sat in front of them. Since he came in the middle of their meals they dint consider him as a disturbance as they were about to finish their meals. The third person ordered 4-5 items and asked to parcel those items for him. When the server said that the items were ready he went straight to the cashier and spoke something with him and left the hotel with the parcels. Ram and his brother were not much bothered about him and were waiting for the bills. When the server brought the bills it was quiet shocking for both of them because the amount of very huge. When asked for clarity the server said that the third person had told to the cashier that he is a relative of Ram and also asked the cashier to include the parcel bill in their account. When Ram refused to accept the bill the server and the cashier threatened them that they will call the police if amount is not paid. So to avoid the embarrassing situation Ram paid the entire bill and left the restaurant.So people, we must be aware of what is happening around us very carefully.
The Girl’s Innocence
Chitra is a young, beautiful final year college student. One day a vacation trip was arranged in her college. She studied in a co-education college so both boys and girls left to enjoy the vacation with their lecturers. Chitra was friendly with everyone in her class. She also had very good friends in both sex. During the trip she took photos with many of her class mates. Just like that she took a snap with a friend named Raju. The trip was very good and they returned to their home town safely. One fine day there was a post to Chitra’s residence and the post was received by her father. When the cover was opened her father was shocked and shouted at Chitra. She was confused because she dint know the reason for her father’s anger. When she asked for the reason her father showed her the photo that was in that cover. Seeing the photo even Chitra was very much shocked because it was the snap that she took with her friend Raju. Chitra tried to convince her father by saying that the picture was taken only on a friendly manner and she was not in affair with that guy. But her father refused to accept all these and he discontinued her studied. Being in the final year Chitra begged her dad to allow her to college, but her father dint allow.
The Silent Old Man

This incident happened to one of my friend when we were in our childhood. He was a child who didn't have hair on his head. He liked to watch me and our other friends while we were playing. He would join us now and then, but he preferred watching. Every day, we would see an old man walking by our playground, carrying a walking stick. He had big ears and a bald head. The moment my friends saw him pass by, they shouted, "Hey you, deaf and dumb, what's your name?". When my friend asked why they did so, they told my friend that he could neither hear nor speak.
On an early evening, my friend was standing at the gate of his house, when he saw the old man coming. There were no friends around to shout the usual words. But how could he let this man walk by without saying anything? So for the first time, he asked in a soft voice with fear, "Hey you deaf and dumb, what's your name? The old man looked at him, and replied, "My name is Narayanan". My friend ran inside the house and never shouted at the old man after that day.
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of
them died.
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.
But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.
He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc.
Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.
PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.
He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and passes.
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."
Tough one. He fails again.
Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history.
Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". He replied "1947" and passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?".
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now.
'
'
'
'
'
'
''
'
'
'
''
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE........ So be Prepared!!
Hi,
Before some days, I got mail with above title. I am very impressed by message and so sharing with you.
——————————————————————————————————————–
My Dear Child,
I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons:
1. Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable; nobody knows how long they live! Some words are better said early!
2. I am your father, and if I don’t tell you these, no one else will!
3. What is written is from my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches.
Remember the following as you go through life:
1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I. To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he / she really likes you. You have to be careful; don’t hastily regard him / her as a real friend.
2. No one is indispensable, nothing in the world that you must possess. Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don’t want you anymore, or when you lose what / who you love most.
3. Life is short. When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.
4. Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one’s mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness. Don’t over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don’t over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.
5. A lot of successful people did not receive good education that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard!
Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life. One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!
6. I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, either would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.
7. You honor your words, but don’t expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don’t expect people to be good to you.
If you don’t understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles!
8. I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but I never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard!
There is no free lunch!
9. No matter how much time I have with you, let’s treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life!
Your Dad
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a Rs 10,000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
Many people like weightlifters, wrestlers, body builders, etc had tried over time, but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a safari suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet."
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and 5-6 drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or what?"
"No," replied the man.
"I work as a project manager in a software company !"
“Commitment should be there, not commotion,
pressure should be there, but should not be panicky,
softness should be there, should not shout like this …
On a whole a manager should be a manager, not a damager.
You know one thing; Faulty Design document is the root cause for all Bugs”.
LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST!!….
“Highly tensioned Project Manager or a lengthy coding Programmer can never complete a project successfully”.
Team of Managers was given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So theManagers go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape.They’re falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess.
An Engineer comes along and sees what they’re trying to do, walks over,pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.
After the Engineer has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs.”See this idiot. We’re looking for height and he gives the length!”
Moral: “No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in you”
Dear Manager (HR),
Vivek, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Vivek works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vivek never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Vivek takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Vivek is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vivek can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vivek be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
Signed - Project Leader
NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13) for my true assessment of him.
Upcoming Telugu Block Busters
1) IT Rajyam!!
2) Job ochina kothalo....!
3) A Company aithe naakenti..!?,
4) Job vachindhi kaani.....!
5) Fire aina Mogudu - Job vachhina pellam
6) Priyudu nerpina PASCAL,
7) Pellam PM aithe!!?,
8) Project dorakani Papa,
9) Company pettalani vundhi..!
10) Iddaru programmerla muddula tester
11) Job-e-naa pranam!,
12) Oracle dada-DBMS!,
13) Toli project...!
14) Yevandi mailochindi,
15) Project kosam,
16) Coding Ramudu
17) Intlo baava - Office lo Java,
18) Aaruguru programmerlu!!!,
19) Pandanti Project!
20) COBOL kaatesindi,
21) Programmer malli puttadu..!,
22) Sri SAP Swamy Mahatyam...!!,
23) Offshore lo puli - Onsite lo pilli
24) ...Nee Password Naaku Telusu !
25) Amma,Nanna,O'software engineer!!
26) Srivaariki Oka E-Mail,
27) Review cheddam raa,
28) Naakuuu...Project kaavaali..!
29) ...Sorry... naaku already job vundi,
30) Testing ante ideraa
31) Vaddu Bava....Java!!
32) Pavitra project!!
33) Basics Nerpina Bava...!!
34) Mogudu,Pellam,.. O'project!!
35) Ammo! Project Delivery!?
36) Premalo....PM,Programmer!
37) PM..! Vastunnadu jaagratha!!
38) Onsite andagaadu - Offshore Sundari,
39) Evadi coding vaadidhi!!
40) Repati Programmerlu..!
41) Vaadu Proggrammer Kaadu....!
42) Adirindayya Tester!!!
43) Programmer,Tester Madhyalo Bug!!
44) Developer....Chandra kanth!!
45) Wipro Mogudu,Infy Pellam!!
46) Avunu! Vaalliddaru Testerlu!!
47) Tester No:1
48) Nuvvu,Nenu...Project!
49) Project Chesi Choodu!!
50) PM Chebithe Vinaali!!!
CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed'
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null AND Sisters =Null
SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw
UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal
UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold
INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES ('BMW')
END
GO
Then the wife writes the below query:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;
Hero loves heroine...........
but Heroine loves Villain...........
but Villain loves Hero`s Sister..........
but Hero`s Sister loves Heroine`s Brother..........
but Heroine`s Brother loves Villain`s Sister..........
but Villain`s Sister loves Hero`s Brother..........
but Hero`s Brother loves Heroine............
but Heroine loves Villain.
Finally two persons commit SUICIDE.
Guess WHO ?????????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The PRODUCER and The DIRECTOR.
A conversation abt the process of selecting a software bridegroom. Enjoy reading.
Vidhya: hey! what is the matter you have called up all of a sudden?
Nithya : do u remember that my parents gave my horoscope, to search for a suitable match, to many people? So many horoscopes of the groom has come.. in that 4-5 seems to match.. I don't know which one to select, I am confused because of it.
Vidhya: what is the confusion about?
Nithya: horoscopes of many software engineers have come. It seems now a days, the software guys are wanting to marry girls in the other field. That's I why I don't know whom I must select among this. You are a software engineer na pls give me some suggestion .
vidhya: not a problem at all. So tell me the position that each one holds.
nithya: first is a manager.
vidhya: manager?? Then he will showcast himself that he is busy always. But he will not do anything properly. He will get u 1 kg of rice and ask you to prepare for the whole area say a village. He will get you mutton and ask you to prepare chicken 65. Even if you protest telling you can't make it, he'll not accept. He will tell you to work hard day and night to prepare it. He will also tell he'll provide you with the night cab. Even if you ask how can I prepare chicken 65 out of it by sitting day and night he will not accept.
nithya: ohh..so dangerous he is!! Then I must escape. Next is a test engineer.
vidhya: he is more dangerous than the other person. Whatever you do he will correctly tell only the fault in it. Even if you try to surprise him with 10 variety of food, he will tell the item which does not have salt in it. If you ask him "will you not at least tell that it is good", he will reply back saying it is your duty to make it good so why must I tell that. He is sooo good ...
Nithya: then a NOto him also. Next is the performance test engineer.
vidhya: he is another specimen.. even if everything is good, he will ask why did it take this much time. If you take 10 minutes to make a coffee, he will question you asking why you have taken 10 min for a coffee which can be done within 5 min. Even if you say that he is talking about the instant coffee while you have made the filter coffee, he will not accept. The same will be with all the work you do. You must not think about this person if you want to do make up in your life !!!
Nithya: then! you mean to say that we should not marry software guys??
Vidhya: who said like that?? In software there is one more group. They are called the developers group. How much ever you hit them they will bear.
Nithya: then tell about them.
Vidhya: you don't have to do anything. They will do everything themselves. If we sit back and just boost them it is enough. But the problem with them is- they will say "I know it" whatever you ask them.
Even that is ok. They will bear how much ever you hit them but the condition is you must keep saying "you are too good" after hitting them every time.
Nithya: this is superb. Then we must search for this kind of a groom....
nternet Explorer - Telugu Desam Party
Once ruled the kingdom and now loosing its share in the browser market.
Mozilla Firefox - Congress
Addressing all the needs and understanding the low level requirements. Thus becoming popular day by day.
Opera - BJP
With eye candy interface and a major player in Indian Political Internet.
Google Chrome - Chiranjeevi's Praja Rajyam Party
Browser with very few facilties and one basic need - viewing webpages without any corruption
Konqueror - TRS (and all telengana demanding parties)
Main dependancy is to run on a seperate Linux KDE - Kindly Divert Everyone
Epiphany - CPM
One man army running alone on the concept of socialism.
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
9. You provided "My Recent Documents". When you will provide "My Past Documents"?
10. You provide "My Network Places". For God sake please do not provide "My Secret Places". I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
11. Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?
Yours obediently,
Banta Singh
Punjab
Bhavik:
I once went out to the market wearing my ID card and did not realize till my friend told me why I was wearing it !!!!
Ashok:
Few days back I slept at 11:30 in the ni8 and woke up in the morning at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 9.15 hours and laughed at myself when I realised abt that.
Jyotsna:
One from me too...
Just after our training completion in Mysore Dc and postings to Pune, me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants. .
And as I finished.. I started walking towards the Basin with plates in my hand.. :)
Abhijeet:
Jus to add...
Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "why is she not attending the status call?"
Anup:
I don't login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked any way.
Till I realize - I am at home.
Rohit:
Yeah sometimes it do happens with me also........ ....while writing personal mails also........ .I jus use the way as if I am writing to onsite or some senior person...... ..
Jus forget that we are jus mailing our friends..... .........
And keeping hands in front of tap for waiting water to drop by itself is very frequent with me.......... .....I jus forget that we have to turn on and off the tap......... ..
Nidhi:
Awesome!!
Once after talking to one of my friend. I ended the conversation saying ..." Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back"
(Hilarious!)
Nisha:
Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message
from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe its in the recycle bin
Farina:
I was about to throw my hanky into the bin after drying my hand.
Bhabani:
Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the door with the keys.
Nisha:
Kinda a same experience for me too..
I gave my office mail id and pwd to access Gmail and wondered when did they become invalid???
Sandy:
I have a experience to share tooo .. I was earlier working at the back office of an international Bank. We used to 'dispatch' lot of Credit / Debit cards and statements for the customers and track its delivery later.
Once my granma was admitted in a hospital, my team mate once casually asked me " howz ur granma doing now ? still in hospital ? " ... and i replied to her " She is better now , she will dispatched from the hospital tomorrow !"
This was followed by a loud laugh in the entire bay !
Sandeep:
Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab....pharmacist asked whr I want 250mg r 500mg.....suddenly I replied as 256mg...lol. ...thank god he didn't noticed tht....
Ashwin:
Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching from a news channel to the DVD while watching TV.
Vidyarthi:
And I - after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder, decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the silver screen!
Venu:
Few of my friends and myself decided to go out for dinner. The place wasn't fixed yet. I said we shall decide it "run time"
Krishna:
When I went to a movie theatre from office directly.. I showed the guy at the entrance my ID card and walked in... he had to call me back asking the ticket...
Rama:
One late night when I went home after work, I was trying to flash my id card to open the lock and only after few secs, I realised what i'm trying to do
Sridhar:
Once I went to have juice at the local juice vendor and innocuously asked him whether he had a plain 'version' of lemonade.
Arun:
Few years back my shogun engine stopped on Bangalore MG Road as the petrol came to reserve. I told my friend I need to restart my bike!
Satya:
The other day I was hearing one guy talking of a "Standalone" house.. when he was actually intending a independent house... Poor broker shud have tuff time trying to find a " Alone house standing in a huge empty area... " don't know what interpretations the guy must have made.
1) MR. BEAN SEES A DOCTOR:
Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumour.
Mr. Bean : Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean : Yes of course, do you think I’m dumb?
Doctor : Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean : Because that proves that I have a brain!
2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher : What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean : 9
Teacher : What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean : Are you trying to fool me, you’ve just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:
Mr. Bean : I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk : Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean : Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!!
4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:
Friend : What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean : I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend : Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean : four asterisks (****)!
5) MARRIAGE:
Friend : How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean : 16
Friend : Why?
Mr. Bean : Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.
6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:
Friend : How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean : What do you mean ok, I thought it’s a horror film. I didn’t see any picture.
Friend : What tape did you take anyway?
Mr. Bean : Head Cleaner.
7) DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean crying) the
doctor called, Mom’s dead.
Friend : condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend : what now?
Mr. Bean : my sister just called, her mom died too!
MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague : Sorry I’m late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean : That’s alright, me too…I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
9) SPELLING LESSON:
Mr. Bean’s Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful….is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean : Make it three c to be sure!